Reflection

Am I still doing this right?
Sometimes seems like I no longer know who is the person I saw in the mirror
No longer can recognize the person I see there having the same face as me.
Where's the me that thinks freely and joyfully

Real life has taken over me.
Stressing out every little things.

better days

i am okay.

am i?

no idea.

Hopefully I am. 

still wandering around. 

thinking about everything. 

family.love.work.happiness.... 

still looking for my better days. 

it does exist right? 

where is my serendipity

I wander

now... I'm kind of sick of this work. No idea is because of the style of working or the environment or the people or because of the job. I just wanna get away from all this.

Nowadays I keep having this thought. Is this what I want? What do I love to do? Should I leave everything again and go do what I want? If I did, but what exactly is the things I want.

I wander.........

lost

looking for a place to write my thoughts. and this came across
it has been awhile...

i miss myself

that self that is free of everything. free of being bound by realistic life.

i miss me.

Fall 7 times stand up 8 times.

Life's full of obstacle, challenges, and a lot shitty stuff that somehow you wished that it wouldn't happens.
That’s what we called life. If life is just like a piece of blank paper. Isn't it dull? Boring?
Challenges, Obstacles are just like color pencils. First, We might have problems mixing them together. But after we mixed them together isn't it will be colorful? and we will get lotsa lotsa pretty pretty nice pictures? of course we will and we treat those failed as lessons. Learn from the mistake and create a better one.
After a lot of crappy things happen recently, been crying for sometimes. Heartbroken, stressed out, lost. All sort of shit felt in a week. Talked to my boss, my BFF, my mum and I’m glad they are around. After crying, I felt that I'm kinda back to my old self again. Happy; content of what I have now. Learn from the setbacks and stand straight up to face the next challenges.
God gave me challenges and also He gave me solutions. He just waiting for me to look for it. because whenever God closes a door, SOMEWHERE he opens a window!. So I’ll just let God decide everything for me and I’ll happily accept the decisions. Of course I might be sad for awhile or a long times. Whatever is decided is decided, can’t really change it. But that's what makes life so wonderful. There’s always up and down.
Every things happens for a reasons. Whatever is yours is yours, even you forcibly to get something but in the end you will also lose it. Can’t force what not yours to be yours. 
I’m one of those that can’t handle problems well. Mostly I will just let it be and somehow it will be solved. For me, time is always the best solutions as Time can makes baby grown into adult; Illness to be cured; life to be ended. No matter how hard how difficult life is, time always allowed me to think, to do what’s right, what’s for the best.
Once my friend told me, "Appreciate what you have now, don’t think so much for those unrealistic stuff. Be content and you'll happy"
I’m really blessed with many friends and family who loves me and I loves you all too.
Moi, thank you for standing by my side when I fell. Because you are here, that’s why I’m always able to stand up again. I can’t really imagine what I might become if you weren't around. Thanks for everything.. 

- Fell and stand back up-

We. Us.

From 2006 – 2011. 5 years we have been together. going to the same hall listening to the same boring lecture blabbing those long complicated lessons which it is not complete in the notes they had given. You are always sitting up front and I'm always sitting at the back. You will be paying your full attention, listening and jotting down those words coming out from lecturer’s mouth and I will be at the back having my fun with the boring-ness or dozing off in the cold lecture hall. Even being together for 5 years, we just start being friends in the 3rd year.

First impression, I had on you was. "wow, what a pretty girl". Do you know I was kind of afraid of you and never liked you? Maybe is because you seems so fierce; so proud.

When I was told by your boyfriend that you are going to be in the same company as me and I was like "oh Shit! o.O ".

However, we hit off immediately after started to work. You claimed that we are BFF after just being together for few days. The first impression I had was not right. After hanging out together, then only I know. You are truly a devil inside out.  (and I was right, you are fierce.)


I like to put my arms in yours. I remembered that one time you don’t let me and we went crazy dragging and pulling each others in the shopping mall. We looked like two crazy fools, playing in the mall. Laughing.

Loves the 2 hours times in K-Lunch with you. Singing all we can. Shouting all we can. Getting high with 为了你而活. Now whenever I listened to this song and 叶子, I will think of you.

Taking off our shoes and walking around in the bank, always makes people speechless.

Always eating breakfast together in Otah-Otah or bank's canteen; ah – pui's ham cheese sandwich. You will be drinking apple with sour plum without ice and I will be drinking coffee ice.

Eating lunch at Lao Di Fang, Petaling Street, playing, taking off our shoes, learning new language, teasing our senior, Kenneth and complaining while working was how I passed my time during Internship.

When we have nothing to do, we would be reading those novel you downloaded. (when are you gonna give me the latest updates? )


I don't know whether do you remembered. Once,you called me and you was crying. Telling me things about you and we talked heart to heart till "early" morning. Next day, I went to find you and had lunch together. You looked like gold fish. After that, we became even closer.

Fortunately, we were together during internship. If not I can't imagine how boring I will be. Even you are hard to pleased, you're still fun to be around.

After graduated, we were together again in the same company. I thought that we were going to work together once more. However, you decided to go overseas to further your studies.

Blame it on luck, your plan didn't goes as you wished. You called me crying again. Even though, you ended up being stuck here; we became even more closer. You took all the time you can to get numb over it and now you are happy working in another company.

We are still able to hang out and have fun. Updating each other about our life.. Having you around is another joy I have.

You are always one of the pair of ears, the pair of eyes, the pair of hands I can depends on when I needed it. A friend when I can keep and trust. Do you trust me?

You promised that we will always be BFF. By then, don't you leave me alone.




PS：You know who are you and this post feels like I’m making a love confessions.

- just us -